Food & Recipes

Hidden Valley Is Selling A Holiday Stocking Filled With 52 Ounces Of Ranch Dressing

If you love ranch, this is for you!

Ah, the sights and smells of the winter holidays.

The fresh, green scent of a Christmas tree. Velvety, steamy-hot cocoa. Dancing candlelight amid the spicy perfume of cinnamon, clove and nutmeg. On the mantel, hung with care, a holiday-printed plastic sock, bulging with ranch dressing.

It’s a holiday miracle! You can now purchase a gigantic, 52-ounce Christmas stocking filled with the beloved condiment, direct from the fine folks at Hidden Valley Ranch. There’s even a handy spout at the toe of the stocking, so you can drench your party snacks in dressing directly from the source.

Let’s get a look, shall we?

Hidden Valley

“It’s a stocking filled with ranch,” reads the product description. “Enough said.”

I think I’m getting choked up. Look at that gorgeous pizza detailing!

I can’t think of a better gift for the ranch-lovers in your life. At $35, it’s reasonably priced as well. It even comes with a handsome silver holder for proud placement above the fireplace. You can pre-order it now from the Hidden Valley Ranch Shop (yes, you heard that right).

If the idea of a squishy, unrefrigerated sack o’ ranch doesn’t appeal, Hidden Valley has loads of other gift ideas. And many of them can dispense ranch!

Dig, if you will, this Ranch Flask:

Hidden Valley

For a mere $15, you can “take a nip of the good stuff whenever you need it,” according to the product description.

There’s also this charming ranch-themed reusable water bottle, which you theoretically could also use to transport a large amount of ranch:


Hidden Valley

It’s $15, but sadly out of stock at the moment, as is the flask. You can join a waitlist, though! Imagine the looks on people’s faces when you take a slug off this bad boy.

I typically don’t have a lot of trouble locating a ranch dressing source when I’m dining, so I’m more attracted to the ranch-themed clothing and accessories on the site. This rad T-shirt with the old-school HVR logo caught my eye in particular:

Hidden Valley

It’s only $20 — but also out of stock. Santa, are you listening?

For the full selection of ranch-themed apparel and accessories — perfect for stuffing those (non-ranch-filled) stockings — visit the Hidden Valley Ranch Shop here. Cross some names off your holiday shopping list!

This story originally appeared on Simplemost.